It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
