New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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