And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think your dad took our porno
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
