i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize