you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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