You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
