To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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