What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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