I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
