you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
