Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You can't special order awesome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize