I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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