so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
