This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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