I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The beer is more important than you right now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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