Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
