R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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