and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
