Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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