therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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