Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
