Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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