I have demons in me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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