I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
