so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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