I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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