I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
