but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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