my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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