Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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