Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
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