Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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