??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
thus making me awesome and them whores
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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