just tell him i said nine months
nutella sex= disaster
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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