I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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