I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
