I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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