2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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