his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A+ Viking dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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