I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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