You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
