Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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