he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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