That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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