all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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