Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
