it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
