I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
