nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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