Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize