yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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