Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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