True but thats because hes a fetus.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
