Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
