Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
