i think i have two assholes
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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