I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
