i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
