oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
worst night to have a conscience
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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