I want to make a zoo with you.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
