My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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