She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
