They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
