the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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