That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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