my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
