DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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